Tuesday, September 30, 2008




Now, i'm usually weary of the "high-end" "low-brow" collabo culture permeating track bike culture, but some of this was just too cool to pass up.

Monday, September 29, 2008


Im sure most of you have already seen this awesome example of yabai. but i wanted to post it anyway to inspire us for our I-4 ride.

Sunday, September 28, 2008


alright people on your party bus who came and turned hoops into bbq; fuck you and your bougie fuckin play now button fetish. i hope your party bus flipped and wrapped around a lightpole and your coke burst into flames and everyone o'd on the fumes, all the while your shitty suburban rap was blaring. wouldnt that be ironic. i fucking hate you people. you are a cancer. go buy some shit.

Saturday, September 27, 2008




After the Bombs - This is Hell
Disclose - Visions of War (Discharge Cover)
Woody Guthrie - Two Good Men
Utah Phillips - Preamble to the Constitution of the Industrial Workers of the World
Fugazi - Sweet and Low
Charles Manson - Helter Skelter
Jeff Ilgenfritz - Ryan Hutchinson
Hella - Biblical Violence
Anal Cunt - Saving Ourselves For Marriage
Japanther - ??

Get at me and we'll make some music.


Saw this on 407FIXEDGEAR:
I'm sure everyone knows how i feel about voting and shit, but this sounds fun and is in a direction, or perhaps better said, shares our beliefs that oil is bad, and to combat this are riding bikes against it. I don't personally believe for a second, however, that there is any hope for a president not to be financially implicated in oil war infinity. What thinks ye about a YABAI BLOC in solidarity against oil?


i vote lets

"Attention: Everyone who rides a bike in Orlando

“The Ride Of Your Lives”

When: Nov 4th 5PM

Where: TBD

Why: A massive bike ride is being planned for Election Day, Nov. 4th. If you ride Critical Mass, race in an Alley Cat, commute to work, or just ride downtown to throw a couple drinks back, your support is needed. A HUGE turnout is needed. Our goal is to gather at least 300-500 riders. We want to grab the attention of both the local and the National media, to show the whole country that the bike-riding energy conscious youth of Orlando is aware of the impact of this election, and we are ready to have our say. We will not sit back and watch another election fall to the wrong man. We will ride in mass to elect Barack Obama as the next President of the United States who clearly has the vision, and the plan to break America from its oil addiction.
This is The Ride Of Your Lives…

As election day draws closer and closer and the race for the Presidency is virtually a deadlock, we have the responsibility of living in one of the most vital, if not THE most critical swing state in the country. Florida is exactly where the race was lost the last two elections, and this state put George W. Bush, the worst criminal disaster to ever sit in office into power. By not showing up to vote, we gave him the power he wields today as he carelessly missteps and fumbles our wealth, our well-being, and our reputations. His current approval rating is the lowest in American history: at 28% (the closest anyone has ever come to that was Truman at 67% in 1952)! The stage is set for the same atrocity to occur with the possible transference of power to Senator McCain, who holds dear and true virtually the same policy, and belief system as the administration of the last 8 years. In John McCain’s own words he has voted with George Bush 90% of the time.

If you are as tired as we are of the American reputation being pulled down to the dregs as an irresponsible, spoiled, greedy, abusive super power then now is your chance. Your only real chance to make a difference. We get ONE VOTE to make that difference. ONE. To be heard. To Count. To Matter. For most of us, this power has not been embraced because as a youth culture we largely believe that we don’t count, and can’t make a difference. We have been MADE to believe this. The constant fear mongering and blow after blow of hammering us down has worked to the advantage of the powers that fear change more then anyone in the nation… the Good Ol’ Boy network must end. We have been subdued and held down for the last 8 years. We have heard stories of Bush stealing the election. Our state continues to drop the ball at polling stations… and somehow out of the lower 48 states, we remain the only state that can’t seem to fix their ballot system. All of this is frustrating, and corrupt, and criminal. But the most irresponsible thing we can do, as the most crucial demographic in the race, is bow to the fear tactics, to buy into the belief that we do not count. We have to vote.

The 18 to 35 demographic are largely swing voters, or straight democratic voters. For some of you paying attention to the world right now you know just how bad things have become. The decisions that have been made and the endless onslaught of fear pouring from the White House has put us in a devastating illegal war, has robbed us of our civil liberties, and now is trying to stick us with the $700 billion price tag of their free wheeling greed and abuse of our financial institutions. That’s our money.

The last day to register to vote in Florida is Monday, October 6th Are you registered? Are your friends and family?

Each and every vote in Florida is absolutely critical to victory on Election Day.

In 2004, 1.4 million registered voters stayed home on Election Day, and Bush won by less than 381,000 votes. If you haven't registered yet, do it RIGHT NOW. It's easy.

Just go to:www. voteforchange. com

For those of you without a printer, or for various reasons can’t mail the registration form in, you can register in person at Bar-BQ-Bar starting Monday night, and if there are any rides or get-togethers going on this week, let us know and write to (adamhudgins@yahoo.com) and he’ll drop by with some forms.

We are organizing in conjunction with local businesses and the local Obama campaign headquarters in Central Florida to launch the “The Ride Of Your Lives.” Press releases are being sent to all local print and television media as well as to the National press in an attempt to put a spotlight on Orlando. Florida will be closely watched as usual as the nation awaits the results.

Details are pending on the actual ride for Nov 4th The main focus right now is to spend this final week making sure that all of you are indeed registered and can participate in the voting process. Do your part and start spreading the word and motivating your friends and fellow riders to organize and come together.

What we know so far is that we have a goal of at least 300 riders to come together as a united front. A unified voice, to show the Nation that at least in Central Florida, its youth came together and voted in mass to make a difference. At this point we know that we will be meeting at a centralized location around 5PM on election day, organizing in groups according to voting precincts, and riding out to get the job done! Then we will meet back up and celebrate, with drinks and food. Specials will be offered to anyone wearing their “I Voted” stickers.

This is our chance to wake up our community and matter.

See you at the ride

All the Love in the Universe – Community Organizers"

HARO OGのフリースタイル選手

original article

Friday, September 26, 2008









Fabric Horse says no.


Thursday, September 25, 2008





66 Fixed just emailed me back and they're in! What a good bunch of people! If anyone who reads this is ever in St. Pete, I IMPLORE you to pay them a visit! Maybe that word was only half correct in its usage, but I like it just the same.

Also, Steve, yr colors are shipped.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008



YEP! So far this wacky plan of mine is shaping up! I've already received a reply regarding my email to Bonad Media Group, parent company of Orlando Style magazine.

Now, though, after a little research - I've found that the locations of many of these bourgeois shopperies don't, even in a basic sense, transcribe a sensible route for an alleycat race. Firstoff, 4 of these stores' locations are inside malls - and although we had an "inside the mall" checkpoint in the Svcavenger Rat, three of these are at Millennia, and one at Florida Mall, which isn't an impossible commute, but it gives undue advantage to the more athletic cyclists among us as there'd be 12-mile stretched without stops or cunning or what have ye. Additionally, Ultimate Motor Works' closest location is in Longwood. Some of these locations, however are in the Downtown and Park Ave shopping districts, but I'm not saying which or even if we're going to use them.



DEREK has completed his tallbike - made out of some well matched vintage schwinn road bikes. Charlie (who welded Garrett and Mandy's bikes) was the maestro here. Derek also had a custom decorative iron "step" welded on to his left chainstay for ease of mounting, and pure gentleman's style.

JEREMY (jthejetplane) also made up a tall bike recently, self-welded with no prior experience. The welds look like mutant bulbous tumors, and i tend to think that's a good thing.

YABAI meeting soon? When are people available?

Also Yabai DeLand have informed me of their critical mass happening October 10th.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008



I used to run an internet radio show, and it's really really easy to do - so with that would anyone be interested in collaborating on a new one that we could run off this very blog? We could have music (duh), commentary and announcements and maybe even a little FUN.

sorry found this picture and thought it was funny


see below for awesome information.



To get an idea of where checkpoints will be, I decided to pose as a fashion student from valencia, then write Orlando Style magazine's parent company, Bonad Media Group and see what they thought:

"Hello there, my name is Ryan and I'm working on a feature project for my fashion class at valencia. I was interested in the input of you're magazine, Orlando Style, on the best places in Orlando to purchase the following hot commodities:

Menswear, Wine, Automobiles, Shoes, Electronics, Dresses, Formalwear, Cigars, Watches, Boating Accessories, Casualwear, Antiques, Misc.

Thanks in advance for your participation!



So i've recieved a couple "no's" as far as sponsors go: the first being Brooklyn Machine Works, who say that the alley cat sounds cool, but that they're currently trying to focus more on northeast events - which is to be expected. I was happy and a little surprised that they even replied, so that was cool.

We recieved another "no" from Vaya Bags as well, with the reason that Tia is going out of town and won't be able to make prizes in time. She also said maybe next time? So if anyone's planning any races after December 13th, be sure to hit them up - they make cool stuff!



Retro City gave me a "probably," after a schpiel about how yuppies are good.

Ethos Vegan Kitchen is in! And not surprisingly. I do work there, but they're always down to sponsor races and generally support the community that supports them, and that's something that cannot be said about many other local businesses.

And DBAGS, my bag-making alter ego is in too - but talking in the third person is weird, so i'm going to stop.



Steve - I keep forgetting to throw yrs into my bag before I leave my house, so they're just sitting there - they're shipped tomorrow though! I promise!

And other Yabai who want colors talk to me - if you aren't formally associated with Yabai and are interested in being so - as a part of a Direct-Action positive, community organizing bicycle club, get at us too.

Monday, September 22, 2008


so yesterday eric was telling me about the fnb mini doc thing they showed at the mall yesterday     ( that i suck for missing)  and about christian anarchist vegans. i was looking into this today and stumbled across a web sermon that i can only hope is a farce.

VEGANS: Modern Day Witches 

Sermon by Brother Harry Hardwick,
11:00 A.M., Gold-Star Members Service, Main Sanctuary

Friends, you needn’t be nostalgic for your mind to occasionally wander back to a better time - a time when the world was far less complicated, when morality reigned supreme, when life was just a whole lot easier and more care-free. I am, of course, referring to the late 1600’s. Lucifer was easier to spot back in those days even though the people were simple-minded - even more simple-minded than the current American public when it comes to justifications for war. Satan’s minions were easy to locate. They looked, acted and spoke differently than anyone else. Their slimy, pickle-colored, wart-ridden skin, enormous noses and jutting chins, web-like, matted hair and sickly demeanor led folks to know instantly what they were -- witches! Front porch cauldrons of bubbling fluid containing the most disgusting insects and rodents imaginable made the home of a witch easy to locate. And the incessant rhyming of incantations made the voice of a witch easy to identify, particularly since there were no rap singers back then. A True Christian™ could spot a witch a mile away. An even better Christian could strike one with a flaming arrow from the same distance. All it took was a few wooden stakes, some rope and a torch, and the devil was defeated for yet another day.

Things aren’t so simple any more. Witches have learned a lot since the days of the Puritans. They’ve learned that if they show their hideous faces in public, it won’t just be their warts we burn off. So, they’ve had to go undercover in their efforts to recruit the weak-willed to the service of their master in Hell. To induce these naïve innocents to join their filthy cult, they have been forced to come up with a politically correct justification for their association. They have had to conceal the real purpose of their late-night meetings, when they cast spells on the vulnerable, brew hideous potions, and sacrifice infants to the devil. They have had to come up with a modern message that will be attractive to the weak-kneed while not raising the ire of True Christians™ that much. That message is called “vegetarianism.” Today’s witches are called “vegans.”

One needn’t look any further than Christ’s words to see that so-called “vegans” are nothing more than sorcerers and demons, mocking God while spitting on His Son’s final supper. They know God loves meat and has ordered us to eat as much of it as we can. So they poke fun at the Lord with slogans like “Meat is murder” and by insisting their members abstain from consuming anything that comes from an animal. Jesus warned us about these diabolical cretins. Turn your Bibles to First Timothy, chapter 4, verses 1 through 3 and recite along with me:

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

I don’t know how Jesus could have warned us any more directly about these devils. They try to hide behind phrases like “animal lover” and “animal rights advocate.” That is devil-speak if I ever heard it! The Bible makes clear that God created animals for one purpose only - our nutritional and intestinal satisfaction. Just as God created woman solely to be the servant of man, meaning women are to obey their husbands at all times, keep their mouths shut in church and never teach (1 Timothy 2:11-15; Ephesians 5:22-24), so, too, God created animals so we would have something to fill our stomachs with after a hard day’s work. God told us long before He used Mary to incubate His son: “Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you” (Genesis 9:3). Every moving thing - not just the ugly ones, not just the dumb ones, like chickens and fish. Every living thing. The most beautiful fawn, the most prized heifer, the most graceful swan, the cutest bunny rabbit. According to God, they’re all nothing more than sausage fodder!

When the apostle, Peter, woke up hungry, what did God give him to eat? Not a pansy platter of carrot sticks, lettuce leaves and orange slices. He gave him every type of four-footed beast on the earth and every fowl of the air, telling him, “Rise, Peter, kill, and eat” (Acts 10:9-13). When Cain and Abel offered gifts to the Lord, Abel gave the Lord the fat he cut off the hides of his flock whereas Cain gave the Lord a fruit and vegetable tray. The Lord loved Abel’s offering of something that would stick to His holy ribs and despised Cain’s lesser offering of mere produce. Cain became jealous and murdered the brother with the superior gift-giving eye (Genesis 4:3-8). This was the first, but my no means the last, human murder committed by these vegans a/k/a witches a/k/a wiccans.

But add another a/k/a to that list - homos. You see, veganism offers a place of solace for sodomites every bit as attractive as a Catholic confessional. Fruits and vegetables are what housewives and sissies on Weight Watchers eat, whereas meat, cheese and butter are what real men eat. If every meal you eat doesn’t contain something that lives in, or comes out of something that lives in, a barn, you aren’t a real man. Jesus warned us that the men who would one day call themselves “vegans” are nothing more than nancy-boys looking for refuge somewhere. “For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs” (Romans 14:2). Just take a look at these losers - thin as a rail, pale as a ghost. The kind of men we used to beat up every day at school. If you asked any one of them, he would probably admit he supports feminism. The only protein these marys consume was created for a completely different purpose, the misuse of which is precisely what got Onan struck dead by God.

Watch out for these witches and fairies, my friends, for in today’s world of ailing morality, they are everywhere. They protest outside leather shops. They ruin other people’s valuable winter coats by hurling buckets of blood on unsuspecting ladies. And they try to destroy the cattle industry with their left-wing talk shows. If you spot one of these demons, detain it and, when you’re through roasting that side of beef you’re having for dinner, replace that meat on the skewer with the heathen, and help restore a long-missed moral tradition.

Sunday, September 21, 2008



The BACK TO SCHOOL SHUFFLE yesterday was great! To be specific - this was a school-themed alley-cat race, that was a bit more than an alley-cat. Keeping with the theme of school, each checkpoint was like a class, wherein you would answer a question - in a difficulty level of your choosing (A-C, A being the hardest) and if you got it right you'd make that grade in that class. The manifests even had little "report cards" where the checkpoint volunteers (teachers) would put your grade. Mikey was the "principle" floating from checkpoint to checkpoint on a scooter, who could, upon exchange for a provided "apple" (it was a paper apple) could change one of your grades to an A. Sort of like sucking up, i suppose.

So this race started in the big grassy lot at Robinson and Bumby. Pete from tampa and I sort of figured we'd follow eachother around (I guess he gets lost easily?) and decided which order we'd hit the checkpoints then planned out a loose route. My first impression of how the race would go was an immediate buildup of lactic acid on my muscles. I sprinted to casselberry and back the night before, then woke up a little hungover from a silly night at hoops singing (no - shouting) karaoke, then played bike polo all morning in the wacky heat. On my side, though was the victory drink luis made me earlier that day. The first checkpoint i hit was science class and the "a" question involved placing velcro names on corresponding bones on an oversized skeletal diagram. I got it pretty quick and after a sketchy curb bunnyhop to the disconnected other parking lot behind target i was on my way.

The rest of the checkpoints were pretty easy too, with the exception of english located near the lake eola amphitheater. During threats of tresspass by a park ranger who didn't like bikes there (or more legally speaking, ridden on the sidewalks there) when I saw the "a" question, an intricate descrambling puzzle, i decided i'd opt for a quicker "b" question which involved composing a haiku. Mine was stupid, but quick:

All cops are bastards
All cops are bastards, today
All cops are bastards.


anyways, beyond this was a lot of riding with pete yelling words of encouragement. I was sort of the navigator and in front for a bit, but then once i was tired of the pace, he got in front and made me draft him (2" from his rear tire, no less) while still yelling "you can do it" stuff and - perhaps to mock my, now intense, fatique - sitting up and casually reading his manifest.

At a point i couldn't keep up anymore and told him to go on - we passed again as he left the P.E. checkpoint at Lake Underhill - then it was balls out to the finish - i got there after he did, but before anyone else did.

So the interesting point came up then - grades. A's were given a 5-point value, B's: 10 and so forth. So for the 5 checkpoints - straight A's would give you 25 "points" which were added to your time in minutes. I had 4 A's and a B, and pete had a D in there somewhere from social studies, which on the overall scale put me into the lead.

So after everything the results were:
1st Overall: Ryan Fromdeland (ME!!!!)
2nd Overall: Metha (orlando)
3rd Overall: Sam (st. pete)

1st back: Pete (tampa)

1st Girl Overall: Lily (tampa)
1st Girl back: Andrea (orlando)

Watch Ibikeotown.com and 407fixedgear.com for pics soon!


On a sadder note, I recieved some terrible news that an old pedicab friend, k.c., had been killed. Apparently, he was driving and was flagged down by a woman in trouble, and when he stopped to help she and a man jumped into his car and held him at gunpoint, somehow, in all this he was shot in the head. All because some stupid bastard wanted his car. It really could've been anyone, and it was k.c., a badass ex-con with a backpiece of his family and a rehabilitated positive attitude about everything. K.C. would never even swear. If you fucked up he'd tell you it was "doo doo" or a "piece of trash" and it was all the same.

You all may have seen him on the streets of downtown orlando, black and mild hanging from his mouth, huge black guy with a shaved head and a big heart. He rode a yellow bike taxi with a stereo system blasting the smoothest R&B ever heard and singing over it all. He always did so much better than any of the rest of us. On a dead tuesday, when everyone made 20 bucks each and paid out 10 of it, he'd come back last with 150 bucks. He was determined to one day "find him a freak up in gainesville," and we all heard about it. There's no words for the pathetic shitfucker that took his life and a little of the life of his family, but if there were, i'd never stop saying them. KC will be missed.

Friday, September 19, 2008



As of late last night our first event sponsors have confirmed, and if the rest of the inquiries follow suit - it looks like we could have an amazing prize table on our hands.

First up, Yancopads. Javier Yanco and company have been really supportive of (maybe all?) most of the races held here in Orlando, and they're based all the way out in LA. They're always really responsive and easy to deal with, and they send out prizes the day before you first ask them if they want to sponsor your race. If you read this, yancopads, thanks!

Next, Profile Racing. I've rocked profile shit like there was no tomorrow on my bmx bike, and now they're getting involved in the fixed thing and make some SWEET hubs, cogs, etc. Looking forward to seeing what they'll send. They're also sponsoring the Back to School Shuffle tomorrow. Nice folks! Florida!

Lastly, and somewhat surprisingly, King Kog track bike boutique (BROOKLYN!).

Thursday, September 18, 2008



INES BRUNNの大抵盗まれた内容


Ines Brunn, nailing a forward-leg-extender-ballerinista pose on MY tallbike

Take that, lance!

In case you didn't know, this is what Ines is better known for:

Ines Visits Orlando from bulius.com on Vimeo.

thanks to melissa for the pics and julius/hugh/whomever else for the video.



SO! After the drama and shit-talking (admittedly, kind of my fault to some degree) on bikesnob's comment section, Zach "Furoche" Fortune and I decided to put together a YUPPIE SCUM SHOPPING SPREE ALLEY CAT.

Date and details TBA, but this one's going to be a little ridiculous, keep up for updates, if you want to help plan this, let me know.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008



11 people to the yabai website on the 14th! That's almost twice our last record! Go us!

turns out it was to mimic this:

which can only indicate in the days to come there will be a plateau around 8 for about 3 days as indicated by the buildings to the right of the transamerica pyramid



(photo my melissa // gee, who's that handsome guy??)

According to julius (who is always correct) tampa and tally might be in on this one, so let's bring it, Orlando!


stay posted!

p.s. does anyone have pics from the svcavenger rat pixie joust?


Another sweet prize for the Back to School Shuffle is a sweet DBAGS hip pack made for you and yr room cleaned by ME!


Sunday, September 14, 2008


BIKES NOT BOMBS! (click it!)

Friday, September 12, 2008


.steve, where can i send this?



Be there or don't!
This event benefits the Orlando Farmworker Supporters - a group working on a bicycle drive to collect old, unused and underappreciated (lol) bikes to donate to farmworkers in the Central Florida area.


From Everglades Earth First!:

"South Floridians have long stood by and allowed the Everglades to be drained, dredged, and destroyed by profiteers, developers, and politicians. The time has come to stand up in defense of our dying ecosystem and make your voice heard. Join Everglades Earth First! for a rally and protest on September 20th.

Starting 10am, meet at STA 1E in Western Palm Beach County (1 mile east of Lion Country Safari Rd., on the south side of Southern Blvd). We will rally and march to theentrance of FPL's West County Energy Center construction site inside the Palm Beach Aggregates rock mine-- which represent two of the greatest threats to the Everglades ecosystem.

There will also be a group bike ride, starting at 7:30am from Dixie Highway in West Palm Beach to the Rally site. Please contact the Lake Worth Bike Co-op or Everglades Earth First for more information!

Stay tuned for more information."

more on FPL's West County Energy Center

big ups to xoxa for amazing website making skills too!

more updates later:


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008



Represent that shit! This event is being planned by SleazyK (kim), Mike RV, Nicole (rv?), jeremy?, and nick? i dunno about those last couple, but they're all stand up people - Mike, as you may remember, welded my tallbike and was insulted that I offered him dinner as a payment. Good people.


In other, more colors-related news - steve and I have been diligently working on colors (gang back patches) - we made up the central design (see last post) as a fnb parody - wrench and random nuts and bolts to reflect our by any means necessary approach to bikes and general dangerous and inconvenient haphazardedness. Next we found the font we'd use - sort of an old english type one that's somewhere between motorhead and wolfbrigade (UP THE PUNX!) and put them on transparencies - we burnt the first screen today PERFECTLY, but then broke a hole through when using a scotchbrite to get the final pieces cleared out. FUCK.

2nd attempt tomorrow.



Monday, September 8, 2008




Friday, September 5, 2008


As a rider of a coaster brake conversion, a "coastie" if you prefer, i have some degree of separation from the fixed gear "scene. or movement. whatever you want to call it. Now alot of people like to bash or degrade this group. i wish i could call it a community, but that brings me to my point, which is solidarity. I felt that at least when i was a fixed gear rider, like i never truly felt at ease with all the other riders. This could be from insecurity on my part ( i was alot slower then, in my pre power thirst days), but also i think that it has alot to do with the cliqueness of the people in orlando. now im not saying that everyone should throw down their keffiyas and start hanging out together all the time, i know that there are alot of differing views of life and politics amongst people.

however we all share one thing in common and that is the love of cycling. i think that instead of judging others on whether there bike is ridiculous enough, or bianchi enough, or even put together properly, we should forget all those cultural boundaries, like whether you get your clothes from american apparel, and urban outfitters, or from dumpsters and moss and twigs. who cares. at least people are riding. you have that in common. there are plenty of things to talk about, and if you need to break the ice, use a suggestive bicycle reference, like " hey thats a huge cog you've got there." or "aren't you excited about Eastons working on a magnesium alloy frame with a strength better than 6061 and enlongation around 10 to 11 percent?"

now as a dreamer of dreams and travelin' man, i have chalked up many a mile. and i have realized that the only thing that holds us down is ourselves. non-riders disdain for fixed gear riders, is a reflection of the internal hatred that thrives amongst ourselves. and probably also in part a reflection on a motorized societys loathing of anything that makes them have to spend more time in their 16000 and up machines.

i mean look at the coastie scene in orlando. there is no dis-harmony in it at all.

Thursday, September 4, 2008



the color teal/turquoise/whatever

The latest entry in the controversial Defame: Orlando blog - to my surprise? - crossed the line. While I know it's meant to "poke fun" at things - and in my opinion - usually is pointed at things worthy of "funpoking - this time it has crossed the line with a couple of things.

The latest post was a sort of parody of the Orlando Weekly's Best of Orlando annual feature - this time though, it's more of a "worst of orlando" blog post.

The usual hipster-shit content was abundant - who did what, where photographed by which club photographer and the dumb shit they wear. If you've ever read Defame you're already familiar with his/her style. So now, disclaimers and fairness aside, I present to you the formal call out on Defame: Orlando's Line Crossing:

First Line Crossed:

In the "Worst Fashion Accessory/Clothing Choice" category were many things i agreed were bad fashion choices - especially considering my standing as a knower of "good fashion." HA. Anyways, one item on the list there was "Jen Waylen. I wouldn't even touch her with your dick." I'm pretty sure they're referring to Jen Whalen, who is, in my opinion, firstly, not a "fashion accessory/clothing choice," and to call her one simply reduces her character to that of an objectified commodity that apparently has a trendiness to it that multiple people are drawn to. This is a bullshit way to attack someone who has been nothing but nice (an really funny to boot) to me and everyone i know. Secondly (sequentially, not in order of importance) her sexuality/sexual behaviour is of no one's business but her own. For all the shit talking i've heard about her, it's been mostly from men who, like defame says later in the same post, put her down for being with "too many people" or something of the sort. It's important to recognize first the societal double standard that exists that rewards men for "studliness" and demeans women for "sluttiness." The terms are the same with the distinction lying at the lines between the genders of those whom are given those titles. This makes both of their use unacceptable and the mental process that gave rise to their use, indeed bigoted. If you're a man who uses the words "slut," or "skank," or puts down women who you think have too much sex or sex with too many people - I say check yrself and quit that bigoted bullshit.

Second Line Crossed:

"Keri Smith - Worst Fixed Gear Kid/Worst Pretend Crust Punk Who Lives Off Of Parent's Income/Worst Myspace Friend Whore/Worst Fake DJ"

Seriously, some reader added this category and it's totally fucked up
To start - Keri's not the worst fixed gear kid, not even jshred who defame called the worst one (curly hair, glasses, bianchi hat) is the worst (or even bad, he offered me his pake when mine got stolen - great guy!), and really who care's who the worst one actually is - it's not Keri. And not to sound like the whole "i did it before it was cool thing" but me, keri, greg from stardust, adrien and davidson were the first kids here with fixies that i saw - i didnt' even start seeing them in front of ibar/bbq bar until maybe a year and a half later and that's her cred too. Period.

Next, the "Worst Pretend Crust Punk Who Lives Off Of Parent's Income" category can be immediately dismissed because again i can understand making fun of snobby kids whose parents buy them everything, but parental support to hardworking kids isn't available to be made fun of. Keri does a lot for Black Box - booking shows, running shows, maintaining a literature distro (a feat i failed at twice) working a full-time job. Fuck whoever thinks they know better then her what type of punk she can listen to or associate with based on her parents. Whomever sent that is kicked out of punk. Officially.

Myspace friend whore? who cares? I like friends too.

Fake DJ? Really? How can one be a fake dJ?
1. Pretends to spin records or play music? She doesn't do this.
2. Pretends to mix up shit and generally practice Turntablism? I've never heard her make any claim to be a scratchin' funky dj
3. Play bad music? I suppose that could be assumed as true from the parallax of a dumbfuck clubby who listens to dj tiesto all the time - viva la descendents!

Third (or Tertiary) Line Crossed:

"Worst community idea gone bad: Critical Mass. Hey awesome, let's raise awareness about bike riders and bike safety in Orlando, let's all get together once a month and ride. That's cool, but then you get the scene kids into it, that have to kick cars, spit on cars, act like assholes because they're on a bike or make it a total fashion scene, fuck you."

My commentary:
past post

Maybe they need this:




Usurping rat bastards.



After a false start at the mountain, we relocated to another rooftop in the loch haven/antique row area. There, we discussed colors, formation, initiation, regular rides, etc. Overall it was a little more like hanging out than a meeting (especially not like the early black box meetings that lasted 6-8 hours at a time with nearly nothing accomplished).

There, we also agreed to use the consensus decision-making process for larger (more than 5 or 6, i guess) meetings. For this meeting we just kind of talked and hung out. And threw rocks.


The amphibious event was discussed for a second, but not in detail.


We need a "central image" for the colors - we agreed on the text: "YABAI, (A), (E), ORLANDO, FL" - arranged in a circle - we talked about animals like sharks and alligators and raccoons and various freakish assemblage portmanteus thereof.


WE need to make and wear colors by the 10th - when steve leaves for PA.



found this beaut on google images on an unrelated search - 1979 Puch Murray - probably original or near original - fly shit!

AND, Speaking of bmx bikes - Volume Bikes - a rider-owned BMX company has just released their 2nd track bike - the Creedence:

At first, I wasn't too impressed past the Volume namebadge - and the CCR reference - but according to it's stats - it can spin a 700 Cyclocross tire! - wild - plus according to the technical drawing they provided (see below) it's got some nice gussets on the top and down tubes near the head tube (no more prolly-style breaks) - and of course it's made from full 4130 chromoly.

(click to enlarge)

Now, for Volume, this is their second track bike (after the cutter), and they're not the first BMX company to make the leap, either - FBM (not freak bike militia - fat bald men) bikes have their Sword model - that apparently also spins a 700.

With two companies and three bikes in this - i'll call it a wave - it'll be interesting where the fixed freestyle thing goes - after seeing Bootleg Sessions, v.2, it's easy to see that fixed freestyle is going the more bmx route - with one rider directly aping bmx tricks like 360 tire taps, wallrides to flatties, etc.

Go nuts,

Tuesday, September 2, 2008




So i checked the stats on the website (CLICK), and it seems we've undergone a significant spike in visitors (statistically 100% more than we had seen on the busiest day). At 6 visitors September 1st, as compared to our occasional previous high of 3 visitors (and our mode value of 0), this looks pretty good! So what can be attributed to this recent interest?


This is officially the first month submerged fully in "college time." We can easily see the trends that college kids display to establish early their unique personalities. Some are street racers, some play sports, some are hippies who hang out crosslegged in the grassy parts of their schools, next to the concrete walkways, some are bicyclists. Under this theory, some kids decided that it'd be cool to get involved in the bike community here and to do so visited the YABAI website.

Based on this assumption and the irrelevant graph below, one can clearly see a correlation between breezy summer attitude (as represented in red - Product Y) and civic faux-involvement (represented in calm periwinkle - Product X). Not mentioned is the general public interest in YABAI (represented in orange - Product Z). As you can clearly see, there's a slight upward turn as the general public's civic faux-involvement rises, but it's still of diminuitive relevance, in my opinion, of our own visitor spike.


Beijing: Swede, Ander Vralddnequist jousts Australian Adam Ulrich in the Pixie Joust Event, a new event involving jousting from moving bicycles with lances homemade from pvc and something softish - usually a boxing glove or plush animal.

This new interest in "fringe" bicycle culture - that is - bicycle culture that involves freak bikes and uncommon, inconvenient or dangerous events, like jousting, bike toss, demolition derbys, riding bikes way too tall, short or long, etc. has risen since the legendary Vralddnequist/Ulrich jousting battle of 2008 - and perhaps word had spread to people here about our own inconvenient and dangerous lifestyles.

Unfortunately, though, according to this pie chart, most people get their kicks from Myspace than from YABAI (In fact, the influence of YABAI is so small, it's not even on this chart).


YABAI DELAND had, on friday, gone flyer bombing urging people to ditch their writhing shit fucker cars and ride a bike - when thinking of ditching one's car it's usually for something that people might recognize you by, i.e. after you back it into the front of a convenience store and make off with 38 cartons of smokes, but you noticed they had a security camera pointed right at your license plate. I'd ditch it too! And all this activity is surely dangerous! One might have done exactly that, then researched what it meant to live dangerously on a bicycle and found us - 6 times!

BUT unfortunately, it seems that this theory will, like the others, fall victim to simple graphic organizers that contradict their factuality. In this theory's case, it's cleary not part of a dog's nature to be found in LEARN NC offices - as it is for lizards and humans (you can understand this by the "Found in LEARN NC offices" note is found in the area where the circles for humans and lizards overlap - thus being characteristic of both parties - not of dogs, though, as this note is outside of where the circle labeled dogs is drawn.) A simple answer i suppose, but I'm kind of let down that it wasn't my hometown. Next time, maybe.


According to my sources, an e-poster by the name of "ryanfromdeland" posted an account of his attempts to quit myspace along with an offer to make a website and a shameless plug of the YABAI website and this blog on ibikeotown. Does simply dropping urls get results? According to this data, it most certainly does:

In this graph, the frequency of the URL drops (represented in orange), is directly mirrored by website visits (represented in gentle light blue). Thus, our winner is option 4.



We're trying to have that meeting tonight on top of the mountain - midnightish